The Reprehensible World of Ron Solomon

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Maybe I’m growing up (A Tits Story)

Hello dear friends,

 Growing up, I have always been a boob man. Even more than most men, I’d say. Whenever a friend/girlfriend with large breasts would bring up the idea of a breast reduction, my response would be: “Oh so God makes mistakes now, huh?! Show a little damn respect to the big man upstairs!”

 It had nothing to do with God. I just couldn’t stand the idea of a huge pair of boob sandwiches turning into a tiny pair.

 I was half-kidding and half-serious. But I was a staunch anti-reduction advocate.

 Then something happened today… I saw an older woman at the store. She had giant breasts that sagged down to her waist. They wore on her back so badly that she had to use a cane. She had trouble even walking. And then it hit me… she probably married some asshole like me who gave her a complex about reductions. A darkness fell upon me. I felt something I had never felt before… ashamed.

 It was then and there that I decided I would support any friends of mine or future girlfriends who may need a reduction. I never thought I’d say that, but I mean it sincerely.

 So go on ahead, ladies, reduce those bad boys! I’ll still squeeze ‘em!

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Reverend Jim Ignatowski.

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